i think i should update more, i bet noone even reads mine anymore.....oh well, ye i kinda lost a friend and i dont' think we're gonna work things out, they don't seem like they even want to work things out so why the fuck should i put in all this effort?? what's the point it won't do any good. yea my marks in school are good i think, but my math mark is slowly going down, i don't really care, as long as i do well in physics, cuz i dunno, it seems like the better class.  ye i joined rowing! it's cool, gonna help me get in shape for basketball, which is going ok, i'm like the worst one on the team, but that could be becuase i'm the ONLY fucking person who didn't play highschool, maybe i should just stop playing after this year, especially since my dad wants to coach me next year, that'll be brutal.  and if i do stop plyaing, then i won't have anything in common with nick, but maybe that's a good thing cuz then i don't have to worry bout him at all, i mean i don't ahve to now but i do, i don't like him but i do, oyu know i think it's all just a fake illusion of what it would be like but it would be the oppisite. he treats me like shit, never talks to me ever, always talks to his ex and one of my firends.  it kinda bothers me and my friend knows it too, but i don't blame her. or him, maybe it's me, maybe i'm too serious about shit like this and it turns people against me.  i tried talkin to a few people but they don't really make me feel better. they tell me what to do but it doesn't really help. thanks anyways guys. i'll just have to keep feeling like i'm not good enough for him, and hopefully these feelings will pass bye. also my mom might put my dog to sleep cuz he's always scratching, but i dunno, i;m praying to go he won't. i couldn't handle it right now. i'm kinda a reck. that's all for now, hopefully the christmas mood will get me soon and i'll be happy for the next month and a bit. thats it really
Kfc